I speak for myself when I say that I have been there, and in some ways I am still there. I have been in nothing but abusive relationships my entire life. So why are so many women stuck in a Web of terrible relationships? Throughout my experiences I have come up with a couple different conclusions.
The first conclusion being that I overlooked the warning signs. Not every person knows that the man they are dating will turn into an abusive piece of shit, and if you really like them in the beginning you will probably overlook the red flags. However, it is very rare that men turn abusive over night. Usually it starts with name calling or small things that can make you feel bad about yourself, or even small manipulative actions. Looking back now, I ignored all the red flags, mostly because I was single for so long and I feared being alone, and I feared wasting my time.
The second conclusion is that I always thought I could help them. I always blamed it on their childhood, or their jobs. I have always been drawn to the people who struggle and need help. I thought that by me being with them I was making a difference in their souls, but let’s face it; people are who they are. You cannot save anyone, as the saying goes you cannot help people who do not want to be helped. Feeding positivity into their souls was only a temporary bandage, but for the most part it destroyed me and I left picking my self esteem up off the floor.
You need to know your worth, you need to know that you can’t change them. Rarely do they ever change, and if they do it will take months or even years to work on the issues of your relationship.